101 Reasons Why I Like You

Oh, her eyes, her eyes

Make the stars look like they're not shinin'

Her hair, her hair

Falls perfectly without her trying

She's so beautiful

And I tell her every day

Yeah, I know, I know

When I compliment her she won't believe me

And it's so, it's so

Sad to think that she don't see what I see

But every time she asks me, "Do I look okay?"

I say

When I see your face

There's not a thing that I would change

Cause you're amazing just the way you are

And when you smile

The whole world stops and stares for a while

Cause, girl, you're amazing just the way you are

Just the way you are - Bruno Mars

Ever so often we get the chance to tell our loved ones how we feel about them but we don't. Sometimes it is because words fails us. Sometimes it is because we are afraid what it might mean if we tell them all that we really feel for them. I happen to fall in that category, so I want to pick today of all days, Valentine's, to let that special someone know all the reasons that she is special to me.

Dear Love, it has been two years since we first met and every day I thank God a little more that we met. When I count my blessings, I count you twice because I am doubly-blessed to have you in my life. You are the fruit that makes me weak and if I had one wish it would be to spend eternity with you, by your side, making every day count like it would be our last.

Dear Love, ever since we met I have become a better man. I smile whenever I think of you. I have better dreams and when I see you, my heart misses a beat. You cannot possibly know to what depths you have inspired me, even when I was down you were there. You never saw me as a lesser man because I had nothing to give or belittled me because I was out of luck. Rather you breathed new life into my dreams and encouraged me all the way. When I was weak you were strong, when I was faltering, you were my pillar of strength, when all was dark, you were the guiding star in my world.

My Precious Love, you are blessed with the perfection of beauty, amazing inner strength and wisdom beyond your years. You are brilliant, sweet, kind, smart and playful. You are worth more than diamonds or gold because you can never be replaced. You make every day a day worth living and every tomorrow a vision of hope. What would I do without your golden smile? Oh what would I do without your beautiful counsel? Oh what a glorious pleasure it is to spend every moment with you.

My Dearest Love, there is so much we have seen together and so much that my heart desires to tell you but the words to express it all fail me. You are the miracle that the world never knew, the amazing promise of God to the one who will be the world's most blessed man. You are beauty defined. I am awed by your awesome splendour. Your grace and elegance are second to none and if ever I should be so lucky to have you, I will remind you of it every blessed morning and every glorious night.

I'll be your dream

I'll be your wish

I'll be your fantasy

I'll be your hope

I'll be your love

Be everything that you need

I'll love you more with every breath

Truly, madly, deeply do

I will be strong

I will be faithful

'Cause I'm counting on

A new beginning

A reason for living

A deeper meaning, yeah

I wanna stand with you on a mountain

I wanna bathe with you in the sea

I wanna lay like this forever

Until the sky falls down on me

And when the stars are shining brightly in the velvet sky,

I'll make a wish, send it to heaven then make you want to cry

The tears of joy for all the pleasure and the certainty

That we're surrounded by the comfort and protection of the highest powers

In lonely hours

The tears devour you

Truly, Madly, Deeply - Savage Garden

My African Dream

Open the door of thy heart,

And open thy chamber door, 

And my kisses shall teach thy lips

The love that shall fade no more

Till the sun grows cold,

And the stars are old...

I see her, my lovely, dutiful and beautiful wife, walking towards me in the light of the warm setting sun of September. I see her walking towards me in that long green mermaid dress with African print. Her hips are swaying right and left as she walks to me, her dashing husband, and our three amazing kids. 

It's a warm Sunday evening and the kids and I have been playing all day in the green fields of our 5 acre farm. It has been a long day that started with church, then lunch in our orchard followed by games all afternoon. My precious wife walks to me and kisses me as I lean on our black Mercedes Benz. She pulls back and I take a breath as I marvel at the amazing beauty standing in front of me. When God made her, the world stopped and applauded. The rivers, the trees, the oceans, the skies and all of nature stood in motion to marvel at her splendour.

She leads us back to the mansion that is our abode where we sit down for dinner around a round mahogany table clothed with a red table cloth, in a dining room lit by magnificent lamps and warmed by a charming chimney fire.

We laugh, eat and make fun of each other as we share our experiences and the warmth of our hearts. When the meal is done, I regale my family with funny stories of tales long forgotten and myths no longer remembered.

When all is done, the children go to bed and my wife and I sit on the thick red carpet with the sofa to our backs and the fire place to our front. We cuddle before the fire and fall in love all over again not just with each other but with what we have become.

This is My African Dream

Reaching for Greatness

Tonight I met a man who changed my view of the world. Tonight I met a man who not only inspired me to greatness but one who opened my eyes towards what leadership really is. This man's name is Dan Awendo, CEO of Home Afrika. I will not dull his words with my own, I wish to share his story as he shared it that his story may be forever etched in your mind.

"I went to Starehe boys, back in the day when Starehe was still Starehe boys - these days they do not top as they used to. I went to Starehe on a football scholarship, I was a great goalkeeper and that's how I went to Starehe. The other students looked down on me and that gave me a very real sense of self and wanting to do extra. Starehe was composed mainly of Division One students, so if you were a Division Two student then it was almost like you belonged elsewhere. The school was really about your own effort and by the end of my stay there, I was among the top four in my class. 

This is what I am talking about, that extra-effort that you put in for you - not for your parents, not for your teachers and not for your bosses but for you. Regardless of what happens around you, what is in you is what will always make the difference. What you know that others don't will keep you ahead of others. I grew up in Kaloleni and I can tell you that half of the people I grew up with are dead. They lost their lives to drugs and gangs but I made it and others made it too, so it is not what goes on around you but what you do above and beyond for yourself that matters.

We all start out as technicians. Either you are coding, fixing computers, doing accounting or something like that - so we all start out as technicians. However, when you become a manager you must stop being a technician because leadership is about achieving results through others. As a leader you must make sure that your team shines because if they do not shine then neither will you shine. 

As a manager, hire the person who can replace you, who is either like you or better because otherwise you will not grow. The only way to move up is to create space for others below you to move up. It is like the paradox in the bible that we receive by giving. To most people it is counter-intuitive but those who have tried it know that it is the truth. Therefore get to know people you work with, know what motivates them and make sure that they shine. You can no longer be a builder, you must be an architect.

You are the average of the 5 people that you spend your time with the most. Show me your friends and I will show you your future. Eventually you will become like the people you spend your time the most with. 

If you remember nothing else, remember this, You only move up by creating space for others below you to move up."

In Honour of Our Loved Ones

Sorry I never told you

All I wanted to say

And now it's too late to hold you

'Cause you've flown away

So far away

Never had I imagined

Living without your smile

Feeling and knowing you hear me

It keeps me alive

And I know you're shining down on me from heaven

Like so many friends we've lost along the way

And I know eventually we'll be together

One sweet day...

One Sweet Day - Mariah Carey

This one goes out to all of you people who have a father, a mother, a husband, a wife, a sister, a brother, a son, a daughter, a grandfather, a grandmother, a friend or someone that you truly love and who can never be replaced. There are no words that can describe losing a loved one. No words can make things right again, no words can set the stars right again when that precious life is lost. We can only honour our loved ones and celebrate the lives they lived.

Funny how you never notice things about a loved one when they are still alive. Like how they laugh or how they had this strange habit of calling for no reason at all. Small things, things that don't seem like a big deal like how your mother would always remind you to carry a handkerchief or how your wife used to pack your lunch for you - these are the things you will remember the most when someone close to you passes away.

So why wait for Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter or some other man-made holiday till you can see them? Why call when you can visit? Why hold on to the words that you know would mean the world to them? Why hold on to grudges? You always assume that you have more time but in truth, none of us has very long anyway. 

The greatest fear of man is not to lose his own life, no, it is for the person he cares about the most in the world to meet a sudden end. One day this will certainly be true, if you don't die first. For a man, the worst day in his life is when his mother dies. Conversely, the worst day in a woman's life is when her father dies. The worst day in any parent's life is when they lose a child, especially when the child was older.

The Christmas holidays are here again. So take that leave, go home, or go to your loved one. Show them you care, show them that you treasure them, because once they are gone, there will be no more words left to say.

My best friend gave me the best advice

He said, "Each day's a gift and not a given right.

Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind

And try to take the path less traveled by.

That first step you take is the longest stride...

If Today was Your Last Day - Nickelback

The Titanic

Yesterday is but a dream, and tomorrow is only a vision, but today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness and every tomorrow a vision of hope.

 - Khalil Gibran

"I was waiting for so long, for a miracle to come. Everyone told me to be strong. Hold on and don't shed a tear..."

- Celine Dion.  

The Titanic, they called it the Ship of Dreams. It was supposed to spell a new dawn for man. It was supposed to be the greatest thing ever invented by man, but it sunk, killing 1,517 people and leaving only 706. It took 3 years to build the Titanic but less than a minute to sink it.

You all know the story and I won't rehash it. We all make mistakes, we all do things we shouldn't do. Sometimes they work out and sometimes they don't. Sometimes, Murphy's law will apply to you, anything that can go wrong will go wrong and you will hit an iceberg. You'll never see it coming, just as the crew of Titanic didn't see the iceberg till it was too late.

Life happens to everybody, jobs end, children die, engagements are called off, marriages end, women miscarry, businesses go bankrupt, things fall apart. As the master of your own life and the architect of your fate, you design and draw up impeccable plans, not quickly no. Rather through tireless days and sleepless nights, you craft your dreams and paint a picture of the world you want to live in. Nothing left to chance, everything is mapped out, well maybe not everything but you convince yourself that you have got it together that at least even if you fail, at least you tried greatly. Nay, you say to yourself, you force yourself to believe that it is impossible to fail, because those who have gone this way before insist that if you put yourself in a situation where failure is not an option, you will succeed.

Well, that works most of the time, until you lose your job or a loved one is diagnosed with cancer. That is, everything makes sense until the one thing, the one component of your plan that you felt was invulnerable collapses and everything comes apart like it was never solid in the first place. I once heard a story about a man who succeeded in all he put his hands to. He had the Midas touch, no venture of his failed or broke even. All his efforts were rewarded gloriously. He believed that he was untouchable, that his excellence bordered that of a god. Well, one day he got sick and his wife whom he had always taken care of, did not know to run the businesses and he lost it all.

Through the darkness and good times

I knew I'd make it through

And the world thought I'd had it all...

Things collapse, now you've lost your job, your main and perhaps even, your only source of income. You smile but through your eyes your sorrow shows. Your dreams, your great dreams of building a great home for your family, your dreams of sending your children to great schools, your dream of giving your family the finer things in life goes down the drain. You do all that you know to do, you do things that you never thought you'd have to do. Your bear the humiliation and try to smile. You hide the stories of your former trappings, you try to conceal your former life from your current colleagues. You can't let them know how far you have fallen.

The people who would have once greeted you as sir on your way into a building or into an office, the people who would have saluted you and spoken reverently to you now harass you when you try to enter the building where you work as a handyman. They treat you like a suspect or a criminal. You are silent on your true qualifications. You are reduced to pleading with people who work in the offices of the building where you now work as a handyman, for a job. Where you would have once come in as a distinguished man, you now come in as an assistant to a more skilled handyman. 

You carry the toolbox, you do as you are told. You try to keep up, but you are not as fast as the other handymen. You do your best, but you are not always paid for it. The hardest part is when your friends and former colleagues ask you where you work now - that is if you are single. If you are a family man, the hardest part is going home and having to look your kids in the eye knowing that you will disappoint them. The pain is blinding and sometimes, death seems like a reprieve, no, even better, death seems like a friend. More than death, you want to never have lived, you want that the Earth would open up and swallow you and that there would be no memory of you - that no one would remember what a failure and disappointment you were. 

When it was dark now there's light

Where there was pain now's there's joy

Where there was weakness I found my strength

Friend, I am here to tell you that I have been that man. I am here to tell you that I reached the precipice and fell hard and that it hurts when Humpty Dumpty has a great fall. It hurts to piece yourself together, it hurts not to be able to hold your head up high. It hurts to have nothing to talk about at the table of men. It hurts when you have nothing to show for all the years of your work. It hurts when you can't even provide for yourself. It hurts, it really hurts to borrow from friends and loved ones. 

This too shall pass. I know it doesn't look that way. I know exactly how it looks and feels but here's the key, when you are going through hell, keep going. When one door closes, another opens but it can be hell in the hallway. Disappointment may rain on you, people will turn on you but I can promise you this, it will end and you will smile again. 

Your unsinkable ship, your perfect plans, your awesome dreams, your great job, your rock-solid marriage will hit an iceberg. Everything you know or you think you know will change but I am here to assure you that this is not the end, not for you. You are greater than your worst tragedy, you are stronger than your greatest challenge. You may lose your will to live, you may lose the spark in your eye, you may even lose the one thing you never thought you would lose but the sun will shine again on you. You will need help but when you shine again, you will shine brighter than you ever did before and one day soon after that, you will understand the storm you went through.

What is destined will reach you, even if it be beneath two mountains. What is not destined will not reach you, even if it be between your two lips.

- Imam Ghazali

The Perfect Partner

…Well I found a woman, stronger than anyone I know

She shares my dreams, I hope that someday I'll share her home

I found a love, to carry more than just my secrets

To carry love, to carry children of our own

We are still kids, but we're so in love

Fighting against all odds

I know we'll be alright this time

Darling, just hold my hand

Be my girl, I'll be your man

I see my future in your eyes…

Ed Sheeran - Perfect

So you found that special one. That woman that makes you realize that all your life has been spent in preparation for the moment that you'd meet her. You met her, that amazing Wonder Woman for whom every pain, every heartache was worth the experience. 

She is your sunshine, she is your rain, she is every flower in your garden, the crown jewel, the very breath that you take. The one you cannot live without. The love of your life, the future you hope for, the one that you want to spend the rest of your life with, the one you would give your all for. The one for whom time stops, the one with whom every moment counts. The one whose eyes you get lost in, the one who is worth the wait, the one.

The thing is, you reach this stage a few times in your life. It's therefore understandable for you to be sceptical of the passage above. How many times do you feel that you've met the one only to find yourself face down on the floor? God it hurts! It hurts to be alone but it hurts even more to love and to be left by the one you love, especially when they promised to be there for you forever.  

What to do then? You don't want to be alone but it feels like any time you try all you feel is pain. Keep trying. Keep putting yourself out there. There is some wisdom to the expression that "one wears their heart upon their sleeve." Fortune favours the bold. There is only so much pain you can take - I know, but you don't know how much you can take. You don't know how much inner strength you possess till you go through hell. No risk no reward, no pain no gain, no guts no glory, you have to risk it to get the biscuit.

I knew I had found my perfect partner when I discovered that she cared enough to reach out even when we'd had a fight. I realized that I had found my partner in crime when I discovered that we could fight and still love each other. I realized that for the first time I loved someone truly and deeply when they wouldn't give up on me even when I was being difficult - not intentionally of course but men withdraw, sometimes more than they should. I realized that I had found her when I saw some of me in her and when she saw some of herself in me. I realized that I had found the one when I didn't care to hold her handbag.

She’s beautiful, and therefore to be wooed; She is a woman, therefore to be won

- William Shakespeare

Let's Not Just Be Friends

If I was your best friend, I want you 'round all the time 

Can I be your best friend, if you promise you'll be mine 

Please say he's just a friend, now girl let's not pretend 

Either he is or he ain't your man, please say he's just a friend

Best Friend - 50 Cent ft Olivia

Ah the vagaries of love. They are like the waves of the sea, ever tossing and turning to the winds of emotion, dancing to the beats of the naive heart. Have you ever noticed how the people who seek love seem to be the ones hurt most by it. By stark contrast, those who rarely seek love, who sometimes only seek carnal gratification tend to find it more. Perhaps they are just less picky, perhaps they have already learnt that this fickle thing called love is just what you make it and nothing more. Anyway, this is not what this article is about.

This article is for those who never give up the pursuit of happiness. This article is for those who have been in, to call it mildly, 'situationships'. What is 'situationship' you ask? That is precisely what this article is about. No crap about love and oh how beautiful it is supposed to be, no just plain facts of life today.

Situationship is when you meet someone who seems so promising at first, who makes all the right moves and for a while it is like they are courting you but then they stop. Weird isn't it? Well ladies as you probably guessed, this article is targeted at you. Situationship happens quite often these days. It is more of the rule rather than the exception. That new handsome guy in the office? He is smooth, knows to show you a good time, has a sense of humour. He has a certain sense of joie-de-vivre about him. He is not what you expect but you are willing to get to know him better. Two weeks, three dates and a hundred jokes down the line you want to see where this goes but then all of a sudden he just pulls out. He no longer calls you, texts, and to make matters worse, he is now applying his moves on someone else at the office. 

You want to understand what happened but you are lost for words. You didn't give up the cookie, you thought things were going well but then he just moved on like he never even met you. You'd rule him out as weird but it has happened to you so many times that it's like deja vu. Sometimes it lasts a month, sometimes it lasts six weeks but alas, same old crap, different day!

On the other hand, the man meets a girl and he likes her. She makes him laugh, drives out the blues and they can be together without spending too much. He finds that she has some attributes that he would like to see in a long term partner, at the same time, she has certain idiosyncratic tendencies that are harmless enough on their own. She intrigues him and he likes it. Two weeks and 5 dates later though, he finds that he still cannot find meaning in this relationship that seemed so full of promise at the outset. He has been here a million times. On the outside, both he and the lady are well-to-do people with promising careers. They seem to match in their ideals and values, and they even seem to make each other happy. With any luck they could be walking down the aisle within a year or so.

However, the man has been here before, he knows how it goes. They may have been together through a rough time in his life or in both their lives and survived it, but this is not necessarily a harbinger of the good things to come. Men are trained to be fast and decisive in the way they act and having faced so many meaningless relationships, they can easily drop a relationship and pick up another one. Faster isn't always better though. A man must however never look back, as his ability to stick to his decision is psychologically tied to how well he will fare in other endeavours. 

It is sad that relationships or rather situationships as they are so often called these days, are so shallow and empty. Rather than find relationships, people find temporary attachments that can bring them joy and enjoy them as long as they last. Once the attachment ends, both men and women move on. In this way, they avoid the pain of having to let go of someone that you've come to know so well. The aftershocks of this disastrous decision is only felt when they see the children of their age mates playing about. This is especially hard for women as they are born with maternal instincts. This is not to say however that the men do not hurt, they do too, but they are better at hiding it.

I still haven't answered your question have I? I mean, sure the relationship lacks real meaning but give it time and it may yet surprise you right? I mean, maybe he finds a side of you that no one else knows and that maybe he won't want to let go. Maybe, the two of you make it work. Maybe, the two of you can make each other smile till you finally tie the knot with each other or with someone else. Maybe, maybe...just maybe you were meant to be. It takes time to get to know one or does it? Doesn't even nature teach us that gold and diamonds are found deep within the earth? "Never mind!" You tell yourself. "It's his loss anyway!"

While it is good to be slow to judge, it is not quite so good to be in a dead-end relationship. What do I mean by that? A relationship where you can't discuss real issues, like your insecurities, your fears, your hopes, your dreams, your challenges and your eccentricities. Such a relationship is good only for purposes of fun, where you need to keep things shallow and undefined. There is a point however in every man's life where the question of family actively moves from the back of his head to become his chief focus. It is not entirely dependent on age, rather it also depends on socioeconomic status.

Abraham Maslow defined a hierarchy of needs in the year 1943 that is still quite valid today. Once a man is able to provide for himself and has a little left over and has crossed a certain level of maturity, he desires or rather needs intimate relationships. Intimacy is not just sex, nay! The definition of intimacy reaches far and above the basic urge to have sex. Intimacy demands openness, sharing of secrets, dreams and hopes.  

Inline with this, it is necessary for two people to have matching dreams and hopes for them to be truly together.