Friends & Love

In each tear

There's a lesson, (there's a lesson)

Make you wiser than before (wiser)

In each tear (each tear)

Brings you closer to your dreams

No mistake, No heartbreak

Can take away what you're meant to be

Each Tear - Mary J Blige

Hey guys, it's been a while. I've been busy with a lot of other stuff. I know, that's such a cliche. On to my story then. Do you know how much fun it is to go out with a lady and do everything right? From the venue, to the music, to the food and the conversation all the way to the end of the date. Its even more fun when you are being yourself, when you don't have to pretend to be someone you are not. When you can just talk about anything and you still connect with the other person. When you can be "real with them" as I like to put it.

Getting the second date right, that's great. You get the third one right and its official, you two are officially hooked to each other. Feels good right? Knowing that you mean so much to someone who means so much to you. Going out with them, getting to know them better. Sharing the good times with them, in a bar, in a swimming pool, on a picnic date, maybe even in the kitchen ;-). As the time passes, you find yourselves at opposite ends of a conflict and now you face the true test of a relationship. Will you survive the conflict as a couple? Or will you be like that couple you know who broke up after having such a great run? You get through it together and it leaves you stronger as a couple. With each passing day your commitment to each other becomes stronger until finally you are ready to take the first step towards a lasting commitment - marriage. 

You walk down the aisle and exchange your vows. The after party is great but you leave early to catch your honeymoon. You finally have what you've always dreamed of - a partner to share in all of your dreams and in all of life's struggles. Someone to have and to hold, through the good times and the bad and they will always be there for you. You will never walk alone again...

It would be nice if life was this simple. If like in the movie, Hotel Transylvania -  you could tell when you met somebody whether they were meant for you or not. The truth is though that this is not a movie, it is real life and in real life people get disappointed a lot. In real life, relationships that seem like they were destined to be, fail. In real life, people lose their loved ones to other less worthy opponents. In real life, you meet someone you love with all your soul just to find that they don't feel the same. In real life, people tag you along only later to disappoint you. In real life, each tear is a lesson.

In this life we go through a lot, both in relationships and in life in general. At work you may have a boss who doesn't give a damn about how hard you work. At home you may have siblings who depend on you. In business you may have bad employees who are untrustworthy, who steal from you no matter how many times you change them. Life is tough, but you have to be tougher. You deal with con-men and work colleagues who may be trying to pull you down in every possible way. In life there are jealous people, some of them relatives, others are masked as friends. There are people who won't mind when you are all at the same level or when you are at a lower socioeconomic level than they are. Once you rise above them though, envy arises. Then we have the others, the ones who are in your life for their convenience. "Friends" who will bail out on you as soon as they no longer have use for you. 

There are gossips, enemies, men of ill-intent, opportunists, pessimists, dream-killers all around us. The trouble is its not easy to tell who they are initially. Its kind of like being in a new relationship. You don't really know if the other person is in it for the fun. In time you learn that there are not that many friends who are truly friends and there is no one really that you can trust with everything. You come to learn to love yourself and to hold your cards close to your chest. It's never easy, in fact it is a heavy burden. This is the cross that we have to bear and though it is heavy, it hurts less than the alternatives - like being betrayed by people you trust.

On the other hand there are those who are not perfect, who have found that one to share in their sorrows and joys. They know each other's differences and appreciate them.Those who stick with each other even when it's not convenient or even conducive for them to be together. Those who survive the impossible and stay together through the rainy days. Those who fight and hate each other but still find it in their heart to forgive each other. Lastly we have those who were never meant to be, those who just end up together happily through some mysterious event. It is they that give us hope that one day that we too shall meet those we hope to meet. 

As always thanks for taking the time to read. Let me know your thoughts and comments.