Thursday, 27 February 2014

Winning in Love

"Why does love always feel like ...
a battlefield (battlefield)
a battlefield (battlefield)
a battlefield (battlefield)

I guess you better go and get your armor..."

- Battlefield By Jordin Sparks



Why does the bad boy get the girl? What does he have that the nice guy doesn’t have? I mean, you are obviously smarter, better organized, more responsible – you know her better, you’ve known her longer etc. You must be a nice guy if you’re reading this and thinking, “Yeah.” Well friends, it’s quite simple really. The bad boy aka naughty boy is simply more daring than you are. You on the other hand are quiet, shy, reserved. Maybe you are quite loud but then around her your pusillanimous nature reveals itself. Maybe you stutter a little bit when you talk to her and later on you beat yourself up about it.

My friend, love is like war. It requires insurmountable courage and unyielding determination. You have to be brave when you are courting her. You cannot at any moment show fear or timidity. Again like war, it is not just about courage but it also requires a certain amount of strategizing and cunning – this you are good at, or so you think? Let’s start of with the first point.

Believe it or not, courage makes all the difference in the world when it comes to courting a woman. Women are quite entranced by a man who is confident and self-assured, the kind of man who is unfazed in the face of fearsome odds. Being with a man who is unsure of himself is like walking out of warm room into the freezing cold, the change is unbearable.  Women will however respond kindly to a man who is bold enough to walk up to her and hold a conversation that is both charming and meaningful without being daunted by her beauty.

You doubt me? Observe the bad boy, look at him. He will do crazy things which are sometimes quite imbecilic. He is impulsive, he speaks his mind and does as he so wishes, courting multiple women who are well aware of each other. You turn up with your neat, prim and albeit shy ways and you offer her you undying love for all eternity. You assure her that there will never be another, that she will be your one and only. Of course you will not say those things, but like the wise man said, actions speak louder than words. The woman does not need to be told the words to know true love when she sees it.

But you are too tame, you are too agreeable, anything she says goes. Her wish is your command. You must abstain from this behavior, because as fate would have it, people don’t go touring to see tamed game, they go out to the Maasai Mara to see wild game – and that is exactly what the bad boy is, WILD.

Every woman wants a bad boy who can be good for her, every man wants a good girl who can be bad for him. Learn this lesson, intentions count for nothing, impressions count for everything! So be brave, for war was never won through cowardice but through gallantry.  As a final note to this point please know that when you are intimidated by a woman, and you show it in your various attempts to court her – she will demand it and will provoke you to respect her more, the more you will be intimidated – ad infinitum.

Secondly, never make known to a woman your true intentions. I know that your strategy is sound, you “stalk” her and learn all there is to her, all her ins and outs. Yet you miss one vital thing! By showing her that she is your one and only, you make yourself predictable. She knows that in your attempts to win her over, you will move heaven and earth just for her. Two things you need to know about this. By virtue of being predictable you become a bore. Additionally, it is human nature to feel superior to the person whose actions you can predict. Now, how is she going to give in to someone who she finds boring and who she feels superior to?

Have you already committed these fatal mistakes? Do you feel like your luck is running out? There is hope for you yet. Every war has its turning point and its time for you to turn the tide around to make her want you. First, you must stop doing the things that make you predictable. You always eat at the same place or the same type of restaurants? Begin going to different restaurants, even if they are above your means – find a way. Where there is a will there is a way. Always hangout with the same gang, play the same games? Withdraw a little. I’m not talking about parting ways with your friends I mean spending a little less time with them especially in front of her.

Do things that you’ve never done before, go swimming, go mountain climbing, take on new challenges that involve daring risks. Do stupid meaningless things that are both impulsive and daring. Do not at any moment give her the slightest hint that any of this is to impress her. Go after other girls for a change, show up in the places where she least expects you and miss out in the places she does expect you. Make sure you show up with a few hot girls when show up to places. Be the center of attention. How? You ask, again where there is a will, there is a way.

She will hear strange stories of the man who she so casually dismissed, reborn, vibrant, impulsive, attractive – a magnet for her fellow women-folk. She will believe that she has made a grievous error, and she will try to make amends.

Do not ignore her, rather, treat her like a friend. Smile genially at her, give her a few short moments with you then pretend you are off to more important things. Of course all this is after you have her undivided attention. Never at any point reveal any part of your strategy to her either directly or indirectly, if you do, I guarantee that you will lose her forever.

Finally, know that most of these attributes will not come naturally to you. On the contrary, they are probably the opposite of what you believe. But these are the ageless laws of seduction. Time passes, revolutions come and go, everything comes and goes but this one fact does not change. Love is War.

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