Words Never Spoken

The saddest thing about rejection is that there are a million things you wanted to say that you'll never get to say to the person you love. You spend months, sometimes years planning for the right moment to tell her. And the right moment comes - sometimes - but as you begin to speak, their countenance falls and hard-earned courage melts into sheer cowardice. Before you can even finish professing your love to that person, all the signs of rejection begin to show up on that person's face. Their bodily movements concur in a foreboding manner and quickly you begin to regret that you ever spoke of how you feel for them.

There are millions of things to say to the person you love. All the times they thought that no one understood but you did, you want to remind them of that and reassure them that they will always have you; that you will always be there when they need you. That you want to make them happy and nothing could change the way you feel about them.

Before you can say much, you've been rejected explicitly and verbally and now you know for sure that you're done. The second saddest thing is nothing you can say will make a difference to that person. People don't reject one another because they feel like it at the moment, it is because they can never envision themselves with you. But we often think that if we just tell them how we feel about them or that if they could just see you for who you are they would want you - WRONG!!! The sad truth is, while you spent a good portion of your time learning that person, knowing what is important to them, what they like and what they can't tolerate, you are never really what that person wants.

Nice guys spend a lot of time "hunting" or rather "stalking their prey". They learn that person's habits, tendencies, hobbies, likes, dislikes and even their proclivities. Often these nice guys change for the ones they love believing that in the end that person will see them as the ultimate partner. Nice guys please hear me out, Rejection is not a "maybe", Rejection is not a "no not now", Rejection is "NEVER".

Confessions...!!

"If tomorrow never comes..." We all know the famous song by Ronan Keating. Funny how much many of us love quoting it when we feel we've found the one. But is it really the one when your heart pounds like a drum at the sight of her? Is it really the one when her smile paralyzes you in your tracks. Is it really the one when you are not yourself around her? Hmmm...lets ponder this.

Do you go the extra-mile for her most of the time? Yes? Ok. Do you think about her all the time? Still yes? Ok...then tell me, does the thought of her always bring a smile to your face? Most of time? Ok. Can you stay mad at her for long? No. Ok. Lastly, do you know what she loves? Do you know what she hates? Do you know her weaknesses? Where she can improve? If the answers to these last few questions is Yes then the your answer is yes you do love her.

You would lay the world at her feet, move heaven and earth to win her heart...yea I know you would travel the seven seas to see her. I know what you've been through. I know that as a nice guy you probably befriended her and for a time you did everything she asked even when she was joking. Secretly you'd hoped that she would get to know you better, but she didn't, or may be she did.

In matters of the heart things rarely turn out the way we want or expect them to. I like to term it as the "Tom and Jerry game" with you being Tom and the object of your desire being Jerry. She tells you everything, she treats you as her closest friend, sharing her most intimate thoughts and desires with you. Somehow, you never get to tell her what your deepest thoughts are about.

We love that person to the point that we sometimes change our character to better suit the objects of our desire, but often we get quite the opposite. There are a few people who get lucky, those who sometimes find that the lady feels the same way about him - Like in Taylor Swift's "You Belong With Me" - But most of us end up very unlucky. However, don't let it bog you down.

Maybe she said no...firmly no! Not to worry, unless of course she distanced herself in which case I know you are quite miserable as we speak. But if she didn't distance herself and you are still friends, then don't despair! Give yourself credit! You had the courage to tell her how you felt which believe me takes more courage than most men can muster. In fact, the second hardest thing for a man besides - crying is confessing what he really feels for a lady he truly cares for!

Why? Well lets see. Lets go inside a man's head for a moment. "If I tell her and she rejects me it's over for me!" "I can only do this once and I gotta do it right or she's gone!" "Once she sees who I really am, I will tell her..." Or the famous one..."Its not the right time, at the right time I will tell her..."(It never is the right time, it never will be no matter what you see in the movies). Friends, there are over a million thoughts and scenarios that play out in your mind as you plan on how to tell the lady of your dreams just what you feel, and it takes unbelievable courage to truly confess how you are feeling. So don't worry, just be happy, whether you haven't told her, or you told her and got rejected or you told her and she said yes...PS: Its always better to know than not to know!