When She Is Too Good For You

Sometimes love comes around

(Love comes around)

And it knocks you down

Just get back up

When it knocks you down

(Knocks you down)

Sometimes love comes around

(Love comes around)

And it knocks you down

Just get back up

When it knocks you down...

- Knock you down by Keri Hilson ft Kanye West, Neyo

Hello my dear readers. It's been a while since my last article; I appreciate you taking this time to read my articles, I hope you enjoy them as much as I do. Have you ever had a partner who was perfect? Someone you never dreamed of having in a million years yet somehow he/she is attracted to you. She is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with and no matter how bad things get, if she is happy then you are happy. Tell me, are you feeling this way now about someone?

It's a lovely feeling to encounter, the world just seems to be better place. So many dreams become seemingly plausible. You suddenly begin to think of things such as marriage, children, holiday-getaways and erotic moments. You talk endlessly about her and the things she wants in life and all your friends know about how you feel for her. Even her friends know of your gallant advances on her.

Some people even take it a step further and introduce their mates to their parents well before engagement or any formalized union. To the other partner this is a serious sign of commitment and a step in the right direction for the couple. This is a bold step indeed, for men generally only take home a woman whom they respect and who would be respected by his parents and relatives. Now I know some ladies have an issue with the use of the word "respect" here - before you cast judgement let me be clear. A man will say anything to get into your pants. He may be interested in you as a person but as is often the case, he is only just looking for a good time. He may not like you. He may not even want to be seen with you. In such a case he might arrange for you to meet him at a spot that he doesn't frequent, that is, somewhere clandestine. After the pick-up you'll go for drinks and whether it's the first date or the third when you inadvertently end up in his bed, his business with you will be concluded if he only wanted fun.

In some cases, he may continue to pursue you a few more times before formally dropping the pretence. He doesn't want you to take it personally so he may say he needs some space or he needs to work on his marriage or he'll give some other flimsy excuse that lets you know you are no longer in the picture. Sometimes he may not even bother to pick up your calls or return your emails. Maybe you may even bump into him with someone else sometime only for you to find out later that he was already married.

It is therefore a shock for most women who get pregnant then confront the fathers only for the fathers to deny this blatantly. Usually a man will accuse the woman of sleeping with other men even if when he met her she was a virgin. While this is sometimes true and the lady seeks to be with this man only for economic security, many times the lady confronts the real father of her soon-to-be-born child.

So why does the father so hotly deny the woman's claims. There are a number of reasons to this, I doubt that even a book could address them all let alone this article but here are a few. Firstly, it may be because he never cared about you. You were just a challenge. Maybe you were a virgin who had resisted many and so your reputation found its way to his ears and he listened. It maybe that he took a passing fancy to you but that after having you in bed a few times like Judah with Tamar, he detests you.

Secondly, it might be because you are beautiful. Now before you demand for your pound of flesh let me say that beauty is not a curse. What I simply mean is that sometimes a man wants to get with you for no other reason but for your ravishing looks. Isn't this so ironical? I mean if he slept with you because you are beautiful why doesn't he want to be with you anymore? You are still beautiful right? Well yes but men are cautious because him continuing to sleep with you represents some form of commitment. Powerful men avoid this because everyone knows that it is easier to avoid commitment than to get out of it.

Thirdly it might be revenge. Shocking isn't it? I can imagine all sorts of questions popping up in your head. Revenge? Why? What did I ever do to him? More often than not it has nothing to do with you and it has everything to do with the people in his life. Maybe he grew up feeling rejected being unpopular. But then he grows up into a handsome charming and successful man, but the unresolved issues linger. Sometimes someone made them terminally ill and they vow to avenge themselves to other innocent people. Maybe someone you are close to offended him - especially his girlfriend who is your friend; and he knows that by sleeping with you he will injure that person's pride. The list of reasons is endless, if you've been there I hope you find your closure.

To continue with my original theme. As a man you may consider your fortunes to have changed. You may feel that the universe is smiling down at you. Yet deep down you know  those fearful thoughts creep up on you. You know that she is too good for you. You feel like you tricked her into loving you and you feel like if you lose her you will lose the only good thing you ever had. For you are not new to rejection. You fear the day that she will wake up from her abstraction, her dream and realize how so very banal you are - and it happens. So when it happens your world comes crumbling down.

Some people are not strong enough to deal with this. They end up assigning themselves to the gallows or they resolve to finding an escape at the bottom of a bottle if you know what I mean. Things do not bode well for people who are not strong in matters of the heart. For love and the effusions of the heart are by nature not logical or sound. They cause one to do many meaningless things and no one is safe. Anyone can be affected, no matter how high their station in life.

Millionaires have lost their wealth pursuing damsels mistakenly thinking that the same skills that brought them prosperity in business will aid them in acquiring the love of the women they pursue. The truth is such skills do not work in the arena of romance. For while business requires a clear strategy with lots of logical thinking and planning, matters of romance are not so rigidly set in stone.

For those who have been left by someone, if you have been used, abused, accused and excused - don't worry. I know it may seem that the clouds are dark and you are drowning in the ocean of your own misery and sorrow but take heart. Know this, that many more have come before you and each of them had to deal with their pain. How they dealt with their pain is what differentiated them. How do you deal with it? You let go. "Easy for you to say, you've never been there. You don't know how I feel!" Actually I have been there and it took me months to even consider moving on.

It took everything I had just not to break down and relinquish hope. She was first thing I thought of when I woke up and I always slept to her thoughts. I wondered what could have been. I wondered if she would fall asleep again under the spell of my love. I half-hoped that she would, half-hoped that she would not because I knew it was over. Whenever I was sad I wanted to call her. Whenever I was happy her number would flash into my mind. I would go to town and as I walked the streets I hoped I would catch her eye. Time heals all souls my friend. Every setback is just a comeback waiting to happen. When I finally did get over her, I met people who I would never have dreamed of knowing or even associating with. I was no longer desperate for someone else's love or approval rather I revel in meeting new, successful people every day. It will be a brighter day if you just hold on. "Hold on to what I feel like I'm on quicksand, the ground beneath me is swallowing me! I'm falling to pieces!" Hold on to the hope that there is a deeper meaning to all this because I promise you there is.