Saturday 6 February 2016

Last Loves are Better than First Loves





The course of true love never did run smooth 
- Shakespeare 

There was a time when love meant being there for someone and taking all the little steps with them. When love meant that you got to go on long walks and spend hours talking, touching and holding hands. A time when if it felt right, you fought for it. Nowadays am not so sure. Many of you may not know this but I did have a blog before this one where I would leave love notes to my lover. I went through a lot and it taught me things that I needed to know. I thought to myself that no one should ever have to suffer so much for love, so I started this blog to help nice guys out there like me. 

The reason that my profile picture is a picture of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie from the movie Mr & Mrs Smith is because though in the movie they were bad for each other - love brought them together. In real life, it was this movie that instigated Brad Pitt's divorce with Jennifer Aniston. If you have not watched the movie then it goes a little like this. Both Angelina and Brad are assassins for rival groups and both are at the top of their game. They are married to each other but they do not know about each others' true employment. They are ordered to kill each other and they do try but instead they end up re-uniting and fighting the good fight together.

I once heard a saying that it is better to be someone's last love than their first love. Now that I am older I know how much this is true. Juliet was NOT Romeo's first love. Nelson Mandela remarried more than once. Richard Branson found fulfillment in his second wife Joan. Joyce Meyer is happier in her second marriage than in her first. The list goes on and on for people - fictitious and real, who find better love after what they thought was going to be forever & always ended. 

It is true that the first cut is the deepest. We love with all our heart, body and soul the first person whom we truly fall in love with but time proves all things. Time is the true test of a relationship. Now I know that some people stick to the ones they love for longer than they should because they hope that things will change. For a time, this is healthy for we all fight in our relationships. Sometimes it is not healthy for us. In matters of the heart, no one can tell you who to love. I can only tell you that happiness is real.

I found happiness when I let go of what I thought was God given, a relationship filled with love and mutual understanding. The kind of relationship that your friends and her friends root for. I am no guru on when it's time to break up but there is something I learnt along the way. If your best is not good enough for someone you love, give it time and if nothing changes then it's time to think of other options.