Memories of Nobody

"I shouldn't have walked away
I would have stayed if you said
We could have made everything ok
But we just
Threw the blame back and forth
We treated love like a sport
The final blow hit so low
I'm still on the ground..."

- Angel's Cry By Mariah Carey Ft Neyo

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned," William Congreve once said. Men and women have different levels of anger. When a man is angry to the limit, he may grab his woman, shake her like a flask of porridge or even abuse her verbally. I do not support violence. However, when a woman is angry, she will say the most hurtful thing she can think of. This is what William meant when he made this comment. Nearly 300 years later, we acknowledge this fact. 

Ladies, men love you, treasure you and value you but you need to know that men have limits. Women are very loving and forgiving, they will remember everything you said in an argument a year down the line. This is why men are so precarious when speaking to a woman when she is angry - because long after they've forgotten about it, women will remember. They will not just remember but they will connect your actions, discover a pattern and associate that with an emotion. Men like to avoid this.

Men on the other hand are very forgetful. A man will forget your birthday, your anniversary, the age of your children and many other things. In the same vein he will forget your messes, your mistakes and your drama. However, in the life of a couple there are challenges. You will fight, let me reassure you of that. If you can fight with your brother or sister with whom you have grown up with then you will also fight with your better half. 

It is at these times that you  need to be very careful because even though men will forget MOST of what you say, they will not forget what you say if you hit below the belt. Of these actions, none is more potent in destroying a relationship than questioning a man's ability to provide for his own. The core of a man is his ability to provide, so to question this even in passing or in jest, especially when he is in dire financial straits - is to kick him when he is down. He will not forget this, he will not let it go. It is worse than beating him or abusing him. Ladies, it is the equivalent of him casting aspersions upon your physical beauty. Take the example of a barren woman. What if she accidentally hurts a child and the mother of that baby says to her, "Its no wonder you are not a mother, you suck at it!" Such is the power of doubting a man's ability to provide.

This will be the sign that you have truly offended him, he will fall silent even when you are eating together at the table. He will come home, but not at his usual hours. He will not touch the food you cook for him. This is if you are married. If you are not married then he will simply ignore you. He will consign you to ignominy. He will act as if you never existed in the first place. You will be eternally banished from his mind. To the world he may act normal, but at home he will never be the same. If this man is an alcoholic, he may drink harder. I cannot tell you all the things that a man will do when you dare to deign his ability to cater for his own - however, you should know that if you do it may well be the beginning of the end.

Ladies, a man's ego is very delicate. You must tread cautiously when it comes to this one thing. There are things that men cannot deal with, they deal with them by expunging them from their minds and if you are the cause of this distress, then your fate is sealed.