Goodbye to you my trusted friend...
We've known each other since we were nine or ten
Together we have climbed hills and trees
Learned of love and ABC's
Skinned our hearts and skinned our knees...
When a man loves a woman, he accepts her as she is and loves her despite all her faults and eccentricities. When a woman loves a man, she desires to enhance him, to improve him, to make him more than he ever dreamed he could be. I heard someone say that when a man loves a woman it is good; when a woman loves a man it is beautiful but when two people love one another it is magical.
So when does the magic of love wither? I've heard many couples say upon their divorce that their primary reason for parting with one another is "irreconcilable differences." Yet looking at their wedding videos and their wedding albums one would indeed be forced to conclude that love is eternally binding even against the most insurmountable odds. I have indeed brooded over this for a long time and this is what I have found.
A woman wants her man to be better, not because she finds fault with him but because over time all things change and women love it when their men improve with age. They love to see their men overcome great odds, and go on to become victorious in life. This serves many good purposes, the best of which perhaps is to set a good example for their children to follow.
A man accepts his beloved with all her imperfections and strange tendencies because though she may not be perfect, she is perfect for him. I am not saying that our mistakes and imperfections make us more desirable to our partners; I am saying that our mistakes, our strange fetishes and unspeakables....they all form part of who we really are. Once in a life time ladies, you may find someone who sees you exactly as you really are but who loves you all the more for who you are. Someone who makes you feel proud to be who you are. Someone who makes you feel whole and fulfilled. Someone you can share your dreams and worldly cares with. Someone who won't laugh at your crazy ideas or dismiss you just because you are talking about things they can't relate to. Instead this someone will encourage you. He will make you want to dream more. He won't only encourage you, but he will support your dreams and give voice to all your hopes. No matter how tough it gets to be with each other, he will stay by your side and try to make sense of what he can. What I mean is, he will try to understand you.
Lets take a step back and see what we have here. A man who loves his woman and does not want her to change because she is perfect for him; and a woman who loves her man and wants him to change because she loves him dearly. How can two people who love each other so much have many differences in the way they love one another? Isn't this all the more complicated because people tend to give the kind of love that they expect to receive?
You don't believe me? You don't believe that people tend to give the kind of love that they expect to receive? So why do married men say their wives have changed? Why do married women say that men never change? In the midst of all this, what is love? If love for one person means changing and for the other person it means not changing then what do these couples truly share?
Believe me, this is love. This is how it works even if no one fully understands it. Life and death, day and night, fire and ice, creation and destruction, sun and moon. All these things are examples of extremes but they all have one thing in common, they all form CYCLES. Have you ever wondered why the wedding ring was made almost perfectly cylindrical? It is because love was never meant to end.
Restlessness, jealousy, quarrels, making of friends again,spitefulness,all are the food for love
- Ninon De Lenclos
